It all started with the desperate need to escape the Chicago cold. In a half-joking, but mostly serious e-mail to some well-connected friends, I offered my services to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. In a spontaneous blink of an eye, Travelocity confirmed my flight and I was off to Hollywood for two and a half weeks of independent contractor work.
I wasn’t exactly sure what my job involved… but I knew that I would be working with “credentials” for the Oscars. (I would scrub the toilet heads, if it meant being within a one mile radius of the most glamorous night in Hollywood and away from the a negative thirty wind-chill). I’m not going to fib, the first week and a half went a little slow. Hours and hours of sitting in a trailer waiting for various members of the press, security, distinguished guests and vendors to stroll in was not my idea of a chic work environment. Fortunately, I somehow managed to demonstrate some level of professionalism that earned me the privilege to go to Capitol Records for a “special assignment”.
For those of you who tuned in to the 81st Academy Awards, you might remember a number of musical acts. These acts were kept very hush-hush and Beyonce Knowles even used an alias code name to attend rehearsals. Dozens of orchestra and choir members needed credentials for the show, so I was sent to Capitol Records to do just that.
Capitol Records, a private recording studio- closed to the public, turned out to be quite a treat. The prestigious Diamond Awards (over 100 million copies sold) lined the lobby including the crystal awards for “Sgt. Peppers” and “Abbey Road”. The hallways seemed to echo of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Ella Fitzgerald, and John Lennon with every quiet step around dusty road boxes. At the end of a particularly narrow hallway, I peered into the studio in which the Beatles recorded. I imagined John and Paul stumbling into the black and white tiled bathrooms to partake in “extracurricular” activities.
On to rehearsal.
After humbly exploring the studio, I set up the credentialing table with my partners in crime and waited patiently for rehearsal to begin. Members of the orchestra filed in one by and one and sat to be photographed, including my first celebrity encounter- Dermot Mulroney (handsome actor of “My Best Friend’s Wedding”, “The Family Stone”, and “Must Love Dogs” fame). Shortly thereafter, Hugh Jackman, Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron (“HSM”), Amanda Seyfried & Dominic Cooper (“Mamma Mia”) and Baz Lurhman (“Moulin Rouge”) also arrived.
I thought that would be the extent of my brush with fame, but I turned out to be far more fortunate than I could have ever dreamed. By some grace of God, I was asked if I would like to work the “Artist’s Entrance”.
Obviously, not all of the celebrities walk the red carpet. If they did, Joan and Melissa Rivers would have a 10 hour pre-show… and I’m pretty sure NO ONE wants to see (or listen to) that. Many of the celebs take alternate entrances- particularly the hush-hush presenters. In the rehearsals leading up to the big show, I welcomed/saw/spoke to the following unbelievable list of people: Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor, Beyonce, Goldie Hawn, Jerry Lewis, Jen Aniston, Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, Tilda Swinton, Tim Gunn, Robin Roberts, Bruce Vilanch, Gayle King, Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban and John Legend. Most of these encounters were kept brief and professional- but there were a few stand-out moments.
Jen Aniston gave me a smile, wink and a little cheek click (patented “FRIENDS” style… I practically have my own spot on the Central Perk sofa).
Christine Taylor said she felt like she was taking a school photo, so I asked her if she’d like a pink telephone or a soccer ball. She said she’d prefer a sideways baseball cap. We girlishly laughed at our own jokes.
Goldie Hawn wasn’t feeling very well, so I gave her assistant my bottle of Airbourne for Goldie to have.
Tim Gunn wanted a good photo, so Su and I told him to “make it work”.
I accidentally de-activated Robin Roberts credential- but then fixed it super quick… she couldn’t have been sweeter or more patient.
John Legend stood behind me and touched my shoulder as I took his girlfriend’s credential photo. He is a fine lookin’ man.
Will and Jada Smith, and Hugh Jackman all personally thanked us for our work on the show.
The most personal moment I had was with Anne Hathaway. We were the only two people in the ladies bathroom and we were washing our hands next to each other. In an awkward silence, I piped up and wished her to “break a leg”. She genuinely smiled, thanked me and commented on how she was both excited and nervous. There was a sense of relief in her voice as if she really needed to say it out loud. I told her that her father was simply “beaming” and very, very proud of her. She laughed and said that he does that even when she hiccups. We laughed and parted ways…but it was a special, private moment with Ms. Hathaway.
Sigh
Those were my encounters leading UP to the big night.
The day of the show, I reported to the office at 6:45 am. I worked until 1, grabbed food at crew feed and then slipped into my gown to be back at work for Red Carpet arrivals by 2. I was not able to be seated in the Kodak for the Awards, but I did freely wander in and out of the Kodak Lobby; downing free Moet Champagne at the bar alongside James Franco (who smiled at me- woo!). In the ladies room I washed my hands between Alicia Keys and Sophia Loren. Baz Lurhman’s handsome, Australian assistant bought me a champagne on Baz’s dime (thanks Mr. Lurhman) and on my way back to the bar, Sean Penn and I nearly collided. Still glowing from MILK’s best screenplay win, he smiled and said excuse me. En route to my post, I pardoned myself past William Defoe and found myself being helped down the Red Carpet stairs with all my flutes of champagne by numerous men in tuxedos. I briefly stood next to Miley Cyrus and her mother before moving on to other conquests.
James Franco smiled at me again as he left in his limo.
Before the show Mickey Rourke was being scooted along by members of his entourage. He looked at me and said “I don’t know why everyone’s in such a rush, this thing lasts 4 friggin’ hours” and then he was off.
Daniel Craig (Bond, James Bond) thanked me on his way out. I didn’t notice if his drinks were shaken or stirred. ;)
After the show was over, I walked the Red Carpet with the celebs who were on their way to Vanity Fair, Elton John’s Party and various other events. It was then that I swept past Ron Howard, Anthony Hopkins, and Marissa Tormei.
Unbelievable. My night amongst the stars ended with a pleasant night’s sleep at the Renaissance Hotel, where I, once again, ran into Tim Gunn in the elevator. I saw him look me up and down. I hope he liked “who” I was wearing.
16 hour days and many trips to Starbucks… sounds like misery, but the payoff was incredible. I feel like the production world would be a great fit for me. I wouldn’t feel like my theatrical background was completely kaput, but I could flourish in the “business” of “the business”.
Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry! For those of you who may not know, I got a new job! Ow-ow! I am the newest production assistant at The Jerry Springer Show. 
