Thursday, December 11, 2008

Break-in at 600 N. Michigan

Seriously?  The most ridiculous things happen to me.  

I actually got off work at a reasonable hour this evening (before midnight) and as a result of the early dismissal, everyone was particularly anxious to scoot out the door.  Apparently... very anxious.  And apparently, surprisingly fast.  Immediately after clocking out, I grabbed my belongings and went directly to the ladies room.  I couldn't have been in there any longer than 2 minutes but by the time I was making way to the front door, all of the upstairs lights were out.  Upon reaching the front door, I found myself to be alone with the rhythmic beep of the alarm.  "Well, this can't be good," I thought.   I put my hand on the front door, closed my eyes and pushed.  

Locked.

I looked out to Michigan Avenue in time to see two Eddie Bauer managers strolling away across the busy intersection.  I flung my body against the window; both fists clenched and banging against the cold window pane like Fred Flintstone screaming for Wilma.  Shrieking, I called out to the Magnificent Mile for help.  I pounded so hard that my vibrations rattled down the giant "Holiday Sale" signs from the two story windows and simultaneously set off wildly alarming security alarms.  (As an objective side note, the alarm was entirely effective as a deterrent. Any robber, thief, or crook would probably pee themselves; God knows, I almost did.)  

Still screaming and erratically slamming my body against the huge windows, the passers by stared at me with looks of wonder.  "Yes, I'm looting the place in a trapper hat, Hollister jacket, Abercrombie scarf and furry snow boots... HELP ME".    

Alarms blaring, lights flashing, and the window display rapidly being destroyed by my seizure-like fit, I saw my managers do a triple-take  and sprint back to the storefront.

Needless to say, they settled the alarm and apologetically let me out.  Coincidentally, I've decided that the buddy-system is extremely underrated.   


   

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Oh, Ashley. Between overflowing toilets and almost spending the night in a retail store, you are most certainly having adventures in Chicagoland. Your stories would make for a fabulously hilarious book. :)